don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
