the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
