Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
