im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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