You really coming over, don't trick.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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