Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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