i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
