Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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