Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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