the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
