Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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