Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize