There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
