She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
