The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
