i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
it's like heaven, but drunker
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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