Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
how can u be prego again
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
you would pick up someone in the library
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
