You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
My room smells like vodka and shame
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
