butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
