okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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