I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I'm always down for nudity.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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