we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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