batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
