I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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