It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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