Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
