1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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