I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize