It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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