What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
