Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
My vagina just clenched in fear
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
