I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
