Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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