Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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