Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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