I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
