I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
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