Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize