is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize