Got a toothbrush?
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
