Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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