at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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