if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
