What a fucking waste of an outfit
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Hello my rib-scented angel!
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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