I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
