Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
