At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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