Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
