it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
