We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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