so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
