windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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