Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize