it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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