Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
