what day is it and did you see me today?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
