Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
