Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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