She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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