Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Dick very happy bro
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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