so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
