dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I look better un-naked...
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
