It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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