Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
