Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
