I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
