Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
