you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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