everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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