apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
