i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
