Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Dick very happy bro
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
